Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
