just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
