'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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