I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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