if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
