Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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