Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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