I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
