Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
