i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
