is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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