Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I just blew my weed a kiss
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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