My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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