I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
