How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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