Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize