We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
