i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
