so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
