Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
What a fucking waste of an outfit
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Are my feet made of real feet?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
