I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
