I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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