i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
