If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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