She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
