he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
