I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
