idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
