i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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