I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
this hospital has no fireball
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
