Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
