im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
