I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
