Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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