I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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