I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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