his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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