Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Four minutes until I can fart!
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
