I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
