I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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