There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
