Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
we made out on top of his cat.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
My penis needs a shock collar
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
