Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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