I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
