Where did you get a picture of my penis
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
