the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
