You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
