I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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