you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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