there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize