Me. At least after what I've been through.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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