I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
