IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
