i may or may not be watching the land before time
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
