I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
