I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
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